I met her in a inn. Yes, I know, that never happens and all, but it's true. I was just in my favorite inn, The Broken Sword, having a pint and kicking back the stress. In enters this strange fellow, in a black cloak, his hood pulled all the way to his nose. The perfectly trimmed white beard and the huge ring in his left index finger were proof enough that he was rich. The Paladins following him, hand in sword, protective pose, ready to strike down anyone that looked at their master were proof that he was from the church. So a Bishop, or a Cardinal. He went to the middle of the inn, took a pair of gold coins and dropped them in the floor. "I need the strongest warrior here for a mission" he said. It's no secret that The Broken Sword is a inn for mercenaries. The owner, old Olaf, was one too in his days : "Big Sword" Olaf. Then he broke his sword in a mission and decided it was enough. The big sword that gave him his fighting name now gave name to the inn. It was over the bar, broken halfway through the blade.
I was alone, but I knew most of the people in there. "Red Eye" Sullivan, "Poison Dagger" Ansoku, Ginny "The Arrow" Hold, little Frank, among many others I had either worked or partied with.
So when she got up, a brown haired beauty in a fit leather armor, with a green cloak and a strange wooden gauntlet in her hand, I was curious. She went to the church man and said "You can't get someone stronger than me". He didn't seem that much impressed. When "Crazy Barbarian" Gulg'r got up, his axe almost as big as the woman, wearing only his iconic loin cloth, made from the skin of the most fearsome wolf in the Tundras he himself had killed unarmed, she looked at him and smiling said "you think you can beat me, barbarian?". That's not the right thing to say to a crazy barbarian. Barbarians are a proud race. The call themselves the strongest fighters in the world, and what she questioned his power. Another barbarian might have thought about the church man, or the paladins, or about injuring another of the inn clients, or, at least, about the money. Gulg'r, at the time, couldn't care less for all those things. He had been challenged. By a tiny girl without weapons. He jumped to her, axe in both hands over his head, and if she was a normal fighter, even a good army fighter, the duel would have been over by then.
But she was good. A step to the side, fast, and Gulg'r had a wooden spike pointed at his heart when he got up. The spike appeared in the gauntlet, and disappeared as soon as the barbarian dropped his axe. She laughed, looking at the hole in the floor where the barbarian had hit with the axe "That was one mighty blow. Had I been slower and there wouldn't be much left of me now!". Gulg'r didn't react to her words of praise, he just grabbed his axe, and went away.
The church man was pleased. "Are you all afraid of the lady?" he said "There's a lot of money at stake for this mission. But she's too strong, right, this little girl is too strong for you all." He was enjoying it, teasing the other mercenaries. Sullivan got up, a flame already burning in his hand, walking slowly to her. She got down to her knees, put the gauntlet in the floor and said a few words. The wooden floor opened below Sullivan's legs, closing around his knees. She was at his side in less that a second. The church man was now convinced of her power, because he tapped her in the shoulder and started to move outside.
Now, I'm not a religious man, not by far. I like to believe the closest thing there is to a God is me. And church men are always too rich for me to feel safe next to one of them. So I had no intrest in helping him. And I knew I wasn't the strongest fighter in the world, just a bit above average. Still I got up to fight the woman. And fight we did. I was fast enough to jump out of the hole, and she was fast enough to dodge my sword swing. After some ten minutes of neither me nor her gaining any advantage, the church man shouted a 'ENOUGH!". We stopped, both breathing hard, looking at each other, ready to strike again. I was sure I could hit her with my left arm, from below, and then throw my sword at her throat. But she had the unsettling smile of someone about to win a fight.
The church man smiled, waved us into a normal, non fighting stance and then said "You are both in. Two such talented fighters will be more useful than just one. Come with me." He left the inn and entered the carriage waiting outside. He signaled us into the next carriage. The paladins entered ahead of us, so I looked at her, a question in my eyes. She shrugged and so I followed them, in silence. Only after we had arrived at the cathedral did someone speak again. It was one of the paladins, telling us where to go. We passed the door and found ourselves in a richly decorated room, with a huge painting of The Lord That Gives Thee Light on the wall. Sitting in front of it was the church man, now without the hood and cloak. He waved at the chairs, and I accepted the invitation to sit. She didn't.
"I am Bishop Incump Riment, as you might have already guessed." I hadn't, but I don't care about church so I never know who is the Town Bishop. I don't even remember who is the kingdom', Archbishop, although I should. She showed no signs of knowing him either. He then said something about a sacred sword, that had belonged to a saint Boav Ontad, and that had been stolen. "We found this a few hours ago. Your mission is to find who did this and bring the sword back".
"You'll want a thief, not fighters." She said what I was thinking too. The bishop pulled a chord and soon a paladin came to the door. He bowed to the bishop and waited. "Show them what the thief did" Riment said, and we followed the paladin into a dungeon, where five bodies lay on the floor. The bodies had once been proud paladins, strong fighters that won't give up. Five of then not only death, but completely crushed, their bones turned into a fine powder. We didn't stay for much down there, because a scream brought us back the stair running. It was too late. The bishop had been killed. A strong blow to his head, just like the paladins down there. The noises in the altar made us go running to the center of the church. As soon as we got there we understood why the paladins had died so easily. It was a troll. A big troll, using the sacred word as a stick to hit people. She was able to take the sword away but the troll hit her in the stomach with his rocky hand, throwing her to the wall. The paladins died quickly, because of the shinny, heavy armors. I dodged the trolls blows for a while until I finally succeeded in tripping him and stabbing his neck between the stony scales. She was unconscious, so I grabbed her and brought her here. So NO, Thomas, I'm not trying to lay with a drunken woman in your hospital, goddammit.
